The Lourdes Prayer

Our Madonna, who art in Heathrow,
Hollowed be thy cheeks.
Thy Kabbalah come.
Thy weight be lost,
On England as it is in Hollywood.
Give us this day our daily Botox®.
Forgive us our cellulite,
as we forgive those who diet against us.
And lead us not into Trimspa,
But deliver us from wrinkles.
For thine is the Kabbalah,
And the pilates, and the Restylane®,
for ever and ever.
Amen.