Today in "Big Targets"

What's worse than having your bulbous midsection appear in a story about obesity in America? Having your fat ass BE the story!

Case in point...



I could care less about Kevin *gag* Federline *barf* but it would suck to be mercilously scrutinized by the media.

Then again, isn't that the fate that's befallen Britney (and female celebrities in general) for years?

Still the mighty tasty Kentucky Bourbon Six-Dollar Burger is an understandable indulgence, despite the obvious downside.

Bon appétit!

Tears in the rain...

It's a rainy Monday, and what better way to celebrate atypical July weather in Dallas than...



...with an uncommondly awesome sci-fi classic?

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like...



Tears in the rain."

Who is Harry Kellerman...

...and why is he perping those terrible things around me?


Seriously. Cree-e-e-e-py!

Just one of dem days...

...don't take it personal.

Cape of Good Times

Today in Alien Nation

Happy (early) 23rd (that's all?) Birthday to the hottest hot mess in Hollywood.


Yikes!

Remember when LiLo was a charming (and prodigously talented) actress as well as a darling young lady in general?



My, how things have changed (for the worse)!


With each passing year, I fear that this "adolescent phase" is more of a self-imposed life sentence for Linds. Will she be like Ann-Margaret, one of her self-professed idols, in real life -- a sex kitten who blossomed into a brave and challenging performer -- or, God forbid, be more like her *reel* life -- an immortal characterization of self-destructive pathos that is Nora Walker in the Who's legendary rock opera, Tommy?



It's a question only she herself can answer, but I hope to God she can pull out of her tailspin.


"Somebody get a mop and a bucket!"