Today in "Big Targets"

What's worse than having your bulbous midsection appear in a story about obesity in America? Having your fat ass BE the story!

Case in point...



I could care less about Kevin *gag* Federline *barf* but it would suck to be mercilously scrutinized by the media.

Then again, isn't that the fate that's befallen Britney (and female celebrities in general) for years?

Still the mighty tasty Kentucky Bourbon Six-Dollar Burger is an understandable indulgence, despite the obvious downside.

Bon appétit!