Happy Turkey Day! (Gobble, gobble!)

Most people associate Thanksgiving with (too much) family, food and (not so much) fun. I dissociate the holiday with (not so much) family, food and (way too much) fun...thanks to delightful cinematic turkeys, that is.


"It's Turkey Time. Gobble, gobble!"

So to steel myself for today's onslaught of inane chatter, gastrointestinal gut-busters and migraine-inducing noise levels, it's all about getting in that Zen place, this morning via "the Dixon sisters from Kansas City."


I ♥ MI (Mirror Image)

But, just as certain as death and taxes, some (insidious) holiday traditions demand to be revisited -- they're not gonna be ignored! -- year after year.


"Barbara, please! Please, Barbara..."

"I'm getting a little too old for that whore-y look."

"It's a Ver-sayce."

But the best, baddest and, let's face it, weirdest cinematic turkey of all stars (and deep-sixes) the one and only ONJ.


ONJ + ELO = something to be grateful for!

Happy Halloween!

Let’s do something crazy tonight. Just get insane. I want to be crazy. I want to be nuts. I want some fun. Goddamnit!

The Lourdes Prayer

Our Madonna, who art in Heathrow,
Hollowed be thy cheeks.
Thy Kabbalah come.
Thy weight be lost,
On England as it is in Hollywood.
Give us this day our daily Botox®.
Forgive us our cellulite,
as we forgive those who diet against us.
And lead us not into Trimspa,
But deliver us from wrinkles.
For thine is the Kabbalah,
And the pilates, and the Restylane®,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

Labor Day + Long Weekend = Road Trip!

Looking forward to a guys weekend in Lubbock watching college football and kicking the keg stand...





Cheers!

Today in "Drew love"

How do I love Drew? Let me count the ways...

1. E.T.
2. Irreconcilable Differences
3. Firestarter
4. Her autobiography Little Girl Lost
5. Her infamous David Letterman appearance



6. Boys on the Side
7. Scream
8. Never Been Kissed
9. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Need I go on?

Well, yesterday I missed an opportunity to meet my feel-good girl crush -- revel in her sunshine, chastise her for not wearing a bra to the Golden Globes a few years back, etc. -- at the Don CeSar in St. Petersburg.



That's where I could have been with Mel & Jeff if not for the maudlin family reunion which stole some serious A-list thunder (not to mention the D-List variety, too -- hello, Tori Spelling on HSN!)

Sigh...maybe someday.

P.S. Have you seen the trailer for Drew's directorial debut?



[Ed. note: I met Drew on 9/16 at Mockingbird Station in Dallas and, I hate to say it, she was kind of a bish. Tant pis...]

Hidden Agendas

Cal...gone...



OK, so it's day 1 of my family reunion (or, as I affectionately Twitter hashtag it, #fmfr -- à la #fml [as in fmylife.com] but for...well, you get the picture), and already am ready to pack it in. However, it's G's 90th, and damn it if the old girl hasn't done this sorry tuckus a world of good, beyond the whole giving-me-life part (via my father), which is a big something I admit. All about G. All about G. Love me some G!

But I digress.

Now, although you know it's not like me to dish personal & throw my family under the bus in the process -- What? Why you laughin'?! -- this agenda, which perfectly encapsulates the laugh-or-you'll-cry nature of #fmfr, is just too hysterical not to share. Seriously, give it a look-see and riddle me this: How can you not? How can you not...

Bon Appétit!

Today in "Big Targets"

What's worse than having your bulbous midsection appear in a story about obesity in America? Having your fat ass BE the story!

Case in point...



I could care less about Kevin *gag* Federline *barf* but it would suck to be mercilously scrutinized by the media.

Then again, isn't that the fate that's befallen Britney (and female celebrities in general) for years?

Still the mighty tasty Kentucky Bourbon Six-Dollar Burger is an understandable indulgence, despite the obvious downside.

Bon appétit!

Tears in the rain...

It's a rainy Monday, and what better way to celebrate atypical July weather in Dallas than...



...with an uncommondly awesome sci-fi classic?

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like...



Tears in the rain."

Who is Harry Kellerman...

...and why is he perping those terrible things around me?


Seriously. Cree-e-e-e-py!

Just one of dem days...

...don't take it personal.

Cape of Good Times

Today in Alien Nation

Happy (early) 23rd (that's all?) Birthday to the hottest hot mess in Hollywood.


Yikes!

Remember when LiLo was a charming (and prodigously talented) actress as well as a darling young lady in general?



My, how things have changed (for the worse)!


With each passing year, I fear that this "adolescent phase" is more of a self-imposed life sentence for Linds. Will she be like Ann-Margaret, one of her self-professed idols, in real life -- a sex kitten who blossomed into a brave and challenging performer -- or, God forbid, be more like her *reel* life -- an immortal characterization of self-destructive pathos that is Nora Walker in the Who's legendary rock opera, Tommy?



It's a question only she herself can answer, but I hope to God she can pull out of her tailspin.


"Somebody get a mop and a bucket!"

Today in Plenty

Push off. Bit of a tight corner. One helluva spot.



Those poor parachutists I do know how they feel even now. Cities, fields, trees, farms, dark spaces, nights. Parachutes open. We descend.

May (s)he rest...

Michael Jackson was an entertainment legend who molested or at the very least exploited children. One of the greatest dancers/performers of all time, he never came to terms with his lost childhood or embraced elusive adulthood. Not a boy, never quite a man, he lived in perpetuity in an arrested development -- at once promise fulfilled as well as unrealized potential. This was an extraordinarily blessed and accomplished individual who nevertheless followed the sad trajectory of what turned out to be an ordinary, oedipal, tragic prologue of a life.

But damn it if Off the Wall isn't one of the finest albums EVER made.

*sniffle*



P.S. Condolences to the family & friends of another entertainment icon who also passed away today, Farrah Fawcett.



They always seem to go in pairs, don't they?

Leave Your Inhibitions at the Door...

...the Show Is About to Begin (再生回数).

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a (Birth)day

Birthday wishes are in order for the lovely & amazing Franny McDormand, who is 52 (!!!) years young today -- and whom I tragically missed on Broadway in The Country Girl last summer *sobs*.

Has there ever been a better actress more adept at black comedy than she? Hollywood rarely uses her (well) anymore -- P.S. Why?! -- but wow, what an impressive streak of affecting and/or brilliantly caustic performances she's given in the last quarter century.
Among them:









Quite a resume, and that doesn't even include her banner performances in noir masterpieces by the Coen brothers -- Joel is her hubby -- like Blood Simple, Fargo (arguably her best), The Man Who Wasn't There and, most recently, Burn After Reading.

But to me, Miss McDormand always will be "Dot" from Raising Arizona (my sentinmental fave).

"Oh! He's an angel! He's an angel straight from heaven!"